Summary of The four Agreements based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.

The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.

Be Impeccable with Your Word

Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Impeccable means “without sin” and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself.  It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others.  It means not rejecting yourself.  To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in “the blame game.”

Regarding the word, the rules of “action-reaction” apply.  What you put out energetically will return to you.  Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy, putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe.  The converse is also true. 

Impeccability starts at home.  Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others.  This agreement can help change thousands of other agreements, especially ones that create fear instead of love.

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

We take things personally when we agree with what others have said.  If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally.  If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.

Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you!  Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream.

Our personal “Book of Law” and belief system makes us feel safe.  When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others.  If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared.  They need to defend their point of view.  Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this?

Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling.  We believe we know their point of view, their dream.  We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel. 

We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves.  As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us.  When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.

Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want; do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you.  Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right.  Respect yourself and be honest with yourself.  Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward.  The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from how much you get paid.  Enjoy the path traveled and the destination will take care of itself.

Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment.  It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future.

Have patience with yourself.  Take action.  Practice forgiveness.  If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.

Hobbies make you Healthier.

In searching for a way to be healthier and happier even though I could not afford  to do things I found  out some interesting facts about hobbies.  Reading the article not only proved to me hobbies are life giving, but explained a little about my personality. People have always asked me if there was nothing I could not do.  I have always searched out hobbies and I have become quite proficient at many of them.   As a matter of fact, I made a few of them my work.  Now, I enjoy everyday and try to find new ways to enjoy myself in my off time.  I am a healthy hobbyist.

 According to Wikipedia, a hobby is a spare-time recreational pursuit. Hobbies are practiced for interest and enjoyment, rather than financial reward.

Hobbies can engage you physically and mentally. People who have a hobby "are generally healthier," says Peter Lichtenberg, Ph.D., director of the Institute of Gerontology at Wayne State University. "We also know they are at a lower risk for depression and dementia. The great value of hobbies is they're a way for people to stay engaged on multiple levels."

Most hobbies involve at least some level of mental activity, Dr. Lichtenberg says. Because we enjoy most things more when we share them, hobbies offer a reason to stay connected to other people with similar interests.
According to a study at Maastricht University in the Netherlands, men with no hobbies have higher levels of illness and take more sick leave than their more involved counterparts.

It has also been shown that mortality risks are significantly higher in urban men who don't participate in hobbies, club activities or community groups, according to a study of more than 3,000 men by researchers at Gunma University School of Medicine in Maebashi, Japan.

And in Canada, researchers from the University of Manitoba have shown that higher overall activity levels in older people promote happiness, improve functioning and lower mortality rates.

What's more, while the social and productive activities tend to produce physical benefits in terms of health and longevity, the more solitary pursuits, such as handiwork hobbies or a love of reading, bring more psychological benefits in providing a sense of engagement with life.
Even in centenarians, and among those with disabilities, ‘maintenance of social relationships is of major importance for survival', according to a study from the University of Rome ‘La Sapienza'.

What kind of hobby is best? Hobbies that require expertise are more satisfying, Dr. Lichtenberg says. That's because developing an expertise in something like photography or astronomy requires commitment, and commitment results in a higher level of engagement. Of course, hobbies that involve physical fitness, such as walking, "provide a physical benefit as well," he says.

Psychologist Michael Brickey, Ph.D., is the author of the book Defy Aging. His focus is on helping people stay physically and mentally active so they can enjoy their later years. Dr. Brickey says hobbies help by reducing stress and providing a sense of accomplishment.

"Hobbies can be thought of on three levels," Dr. Brickey says. "The first is as a diversion. Hobbies help us pass the time. The second is as a passion. When a hobby becomes a passion, we become truly engaged in doing something we love. It not only helps us pass time, it makes us unaware that time is passing. The third level is as something that creates a sense of purpose. We all need that." The ideal hobby, he says, combines all three levels.

Before deciding on your new hobby, it may be helpful to think about things that you wanted to learn to do in the past, but for whatever reason did not. If any of those old ideas still appeal to you, making it happen might actually end up resulting in the fulfillment of an old and forgotten dream.

3 things to help you find the hobby that fits you:
1. Try each thing at least 3 times before you kick it to the curb. The first couple of times trying something new can be awkward and less than encouraging. Give a few tries to get the hang of it.
2. Find someone to start with you. Spouse, sibling, friend, parent, child. Have someone to get you motivated, someone for you to motivate back. It will help deepen your relationships by sharing experiences.
3. Don’t give up. Keep trying different things until you find something that you absolutely love. The list is endless. Don’t even settle for kind of liking it. There is something out there for everyone.

Don’t know where to start? Here is a short list of things to try out:
Amateur Radio, Arts, Astrology, Astronomy, Beachcombing, Beadwork, Blacksmithing, Blogging, Board Games, Boating, Bowling, Brewing Beer, Bridge Building, Bringing Food To The Disabled, Building A House For Habitat For Humanity, Building Dollhouses, Butterfly Watching, Cake Decorating, Calligraphy, Camping, Candle Making,
Entertaining Exercise (aerobics, weights), Fast cars, Fencing, Rock Collecting ,Rockets Rocking AIDS Babies, Texting, Textiles, Tombstone Rubbing, Tool Collecting,
There are so many more.  I found a website that gives you tons of ideas and links: http://www.notsoboringlife.com/list-of-hobbies/

Some hobbies can help you lose weight.

Hiking, rock climbing, walking, inline skating, biking, running, soccer, baseball, volleyball, tennis, swimming, racquetball, dancing, yoga, pilates, kickboxing, disc golf, martial arts, skiing/snowboarding, snowshoeing, cross country skiing, kayaking, canoeing, scuba diving, water skiing/wakeboarding,

Here’s a list of simple hobbies that help with weight loss that you can do daily.

1.    Walking your dog
How many times have you just let your puppy outside to run around within the confines of your fenced backyard? Sure, you’re a busy guy or gal with lots to tend to once you get home, but what if you spend 30 or even 10 minutes walking your dog? That could be an extra 100 calories burned with your furry best friend.
2.    Shopping
Ladies listen up! Who doesn’t love to shop with their girlfriends? Take advantage of this time and walk the whole mall or go to a mall that’s outside with more stores and take in the fresh air. Additionally, if you park a little further from the entrance you’ll get even more steps into your day.
3.    Clean your house
I bet you didn’t know that you could burn almost 150 calories an hour (depending upon your weight and rigor) while simply cleaning your house! If you’re house is bigger and you spend all or half a day doing it – you could burn 400 calories.   I was surprised that this is one of the most constructive exercises that burns the most calories and after I get to sit in a clean house.
4.    Just dance.
Many of the Dancing with the Stars contestants end up loosing a significant amount of weight and build muscle mass while on the show – you could too!
5.    Video games for weight loss
Nintendo Wii Fit is new to the weight loss scene and many people are reaping the benefits. It’s a perfect idea for those of you who like to play video games all the while in the comfort of your own home. If this idea really tickled your fancy, check out this article on how to lose weight with Wii Fit Plus.

Make sure You do something every single day that improves you or the world

http://www.wvhc.staywellsolutionsonline.com/library/Wellness/1,2540
http://www.readersdigest.co.uk/health/118/613.html
http://livingachangedlife.blogspot.com/2011/01/guest-post-active-hobbies-healthy-life.html

Hair Tips from Styling Souls

As Personal Care Specialists, we are often asked tips of great hair and Skin.  Here are some of our favorites for all around great hair and skin.  Article Written by  Rev. Christie La Valley, Personal Care Specialist.

Basic hair tips:

Don't rip your brush through snarls. If you don't have detangler spray, wet the area and generously apply conditioner and work it through evenly. Brush gently with a Vent Brush and slowly work the tangles out.

 DO NOT wash hair too often : It will dry your hair up and may cause greasy/oily looking hair. If you have dry hair, use a hydrating shampoo.

Always use cool water, after shampooing your hair rinse and condition it out. This will seal the cuticles and prevent frizz and dryness.

Use large tooth comb when applying condition or combing your hair.

Opt for a baby brush for smoothing the edges of dry hair. 

Air-dry whenever possible. Try to minimize the use of blow dryer as the strong heat tends to damage the hair, also the moisture lost makes them look rough and lifeless. Give your hair a break from that blow dryer, those curling irons. When you are kind to your hair, it rewards you by looking and feeling better. Choose a hairstyle that will let your hair fall naturally. A great cut makes all the difference
Get your hair trimmed on a regular basis (approximately every two months). This is especially important for growing out layers and/or bangs to reshape and make each stage of growing hair out a style.

  

All Natural Products for Healthy Hair:

Try rubbing lemon juice or apple cider vinegar into your roots: This encourages a  beautiful, shiny look and prevents greasy-looking hair and frizz.  Use caution if you have dark hair when using lemon juice, it can lighten your hair color if you stay in the sun with it in your hair

Coffee not only wakes you up but can wake up the hair. Brew some regular coffee. Make sure to let it cool down  to avoid burning yourself, but make sure it is still warm. Pour it throughout dry hair then twist your hair into a bun and cover with a plastic cap. Let it sit for 30 minutes then rinse out and use your usual shampoo and conditioner.  Coffee is very acidic and will leave your hair cuticle smooth and shiny. This will also enhance color. (Use caution if you have blonde hair, darkening may occur)

Mayonnaise and avocado oil: Depending on how long your hair is, use about 1 cup of mayonnaise and add 2 tablespoons of warm avocado oil. Mix up the ingredients and spread through hair as you would with conditioner. Use this home-made conditioner when you have free time because you will have to leave it in for about 3 hours. If possible, you can wrap your hair with plastic and leave the conditioner in overnight for deep conditioning. Rinse thoroughly and use your regular shampoo and conditioner.  Smothering the hair with Mayonnaise is also a treatment for lice management

Apple Cider Vinegar:  Shampoo your hair with your usual shampoo and rinse your hair thoroughly with warm running water . Measure two cups of apple cider vinegar and one cup of water and rinse hair carefully with the mix. Leave vinegar and water mixture on your hair for fifteen minutes. Rinse the vinegar off your hair with clean warm running water until the vinegar smell dissipates. You will surprisingly find your hair is now detangled, healthy looking and manageable. Repeat process every week or less if desired. Apple cider vinegars acidity level is close to that of natural hair. Not only does it detangle but, it's also an effective germ killer.

If you don't have detangler on hand, you can mix up some yourself. 

• Fill a spray bottle with the following detangler mixture:

8 ounces distilled water
1 teaspoon aloe vera gel
10-15 drops grapefruit seed extract
1-2 drops glycerin
1-2 drops essential oil (e.g., lavender, jojoba, chamomile)

Tips to Sleep on:
Get good quality and a correct amount of sleep to help with the natural rejuvenation process
Your hair is like your skin - it can repair itself overnight. There are great natural products or products you can make that when left overnight can leave your hair healthy and shiny.
It is highly recommended to sleep on a silk pillow case as opposed to a cotton one. Silk helps prevent tangling and dullness in your hair. The benefit of silk is your hair slides across the pillow case, whereas on cotton pillow case it catches and tangles”
Sleeping with your hair in a bun or braid may make it easier to brush in the morning, and will control some of the frizz.

Eat and drink your way to healthier  skin and hair:

Drink plenty of water [7 to 8 glasses] water.  Always keep your body hydrated.

Eat foods that are rich with iron. Iron is very good for hair and skin. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Vitamin E is very useful to get shiny the hair. Eat more foods rich with Vitamin E Add brown rice, nuts, wheat germ and leafy green vegetables in your diet.

Interesting Hair Tips:

• Rub tangled dry hair with a dryer sheet : prior to combing it out.
• Erase Hair color stains left on the skin:,  Simply use a regular tube of toothpaste or cigarette ash. Apply a small dab to your finger and gently rub the toothpaste over the stained area of the skin.  Rinse with lukewarm water.  Repeat until the stain is removed.
• Tame with Chapstick: put a little in on your fingertips and smooth it over baby hairs.
• Use Mascara to temporarily cover up gray hair:  Chose a shade close to your own hair color.

Building Sexual Energy With Your Partner Through Simple Tantric Practices

Outline written by  Rev.Christie LaValley, RMT
***This is in no way is an ad for sex.  These are suggestions for your personal life, not for office visits.

Tantric Means: Transformation of Energy

3 Main Facts:          1.Men should not always ejaculate. This is "congenital Chi/ Jing."
                                    Men  have a limited  supply and it cannot be replaced.
                                2. Learn to breathe together. 
                                3. Learn to view lovemaking as a shared meditative state.

Important facts
a.      Bring additional sexual energy up to other Chakras.

b.     We are energy beings Water conducts energy-always make sure you are well
         lubed.  Massage is a great way for couples to ensure proper lubrication.

c.      Circulate breathing through your Chakras and your partner's chakras.  Pay
         special attention to your heart and your partner's heart.

d.     Not ejaculating helps in 3 ways.
         1.      Not losing vital energy/jing (essence)
         2.      Strengthen and tones from muscular exercise. Kegal Exercise for men
         3.      Vital energy is being aroused and since it is not being discharged
                   it can circulate  and  be re-absorbed through the body with you
                   and your partners breathing. It can be vital  in healing.

e.     Women lose jing during menstruation- Excessive blood loss is damaging. 
          Help her build her energy with breathing.

f.       Impotence is considered loss of too much jing.
         Taoist cure-  Have sex for 10 days with the same woman/energy without
         ejaculation. Relax without expectations of performance and feel the
         experience.  Woman should be on top.

g.      Prostate Health- We are now living longer and we have more casual sex.
          We as westerners believe ejaculation must occur during orgasms resulting
           in less jing and depleted energy.  Western doctors encourage more
           ejaculation as eastern  medicine  encourage  less.  Who is correct?


Information gathered from:  Excerpt from Subtle Energy:Awakening to the Unseen Forces in Our Lives by William Collinge, Ph.D., Warner Books, Inc.,1998 

Avoid Allergies, Colds and Sinus Pressure

        I am sitting at the doctors office patiently awaiting my turn to see the doctor. I picked up a parenting magazine to keep myself occupied. It has been a long time since I picked up a parenting magazine. My girls are now 16 and 18, young adults. It was nice to see the smiling babies and read the cute comments that children make. However, what really got my attention and is still lingering in my mind was a little blurb in the cold section. A simple little thing you could do to get rid of the sinus pressure of a cold or allergies. It is the simplest of solutions. It is absolutely pure and effective. Plain and simple -the use of a saline solution spray.
       Last week in the shop everyone was complaining of feeling sick. They had stuffy heads, sinus pressure and were not focusing well on anything. They are always mad at me, because I do not get really sick like them. I tried to tell them the importance of using saline solution to reduce the pressure. I use it often and I never seem to suffer like everyone else from the effects of colds or allergies.
      Saline solution is mixture of salt and water. It is all natural and will not cause any ill side effects. By spraying the nasal cavity which is often dry when we turn the heat on, it can release dryness. But often as the heat comes on after a summer of sitting, it is full of allergens that might stuff up our noses. Saline spray is great for washing that all away including germs that we might have breathed in. For both cold and allergy sufferers the use of saline spray after exposure to irritants or germs is great way to avoid a stuffy nose, sneezing and being sick. Granted the taste of saline is not pleasant but the fact that it cleans our noses and keeps us healthy is well worth the nasty after taste. You can purchase saline solution at any local pharmacy and the store brand is just as effective as a name brand. You may also order it from Styling Souls  
   If you are interested in giving the nose a real cleaning, there is also the netty pot. It looks a little like a tea kettle, but is meant to clean the entire sinus cavity by flooding the entire cavity with a burst of salt water. This is suggested by doctors who would prefer alternative treatments for sinus infections.
For more information about these products or methods, please call us or visit these websites: http://www.ehow.com/how_2167016_use-netty-pot.html http://coldflu.about.com/od/medications/gr/salinespray.htm http://www.webmd.com/allergies/treatments-08/saline-spray
I hope you find this information helpful and you enjoy a healthy winter.
Rev.Christie La Valley, RMT

11:11 and other triple digits

Have you seen triple or more digits on clocks, addresses, your odometer or other digital objects? If you have it is believed that you are getting a wake-up call to become who you really are and to do your life’s purpose. 
This happened to me about 5 years ago.  All of a sudden, I was seeing  11:11 on the clock all the time.  When I went to the store I would get a total owed of $3.33 and change of $2.22.  I was seeing triple digits everywhere.  I was so taken back one day by the amount of triple digits I was seeing and especially the 11:11, that I mentioned it to my children.   The children told me it meant to make a wish.  I asked them where they got that information.  They told me everyone knew it and I could find it on the internet.  So I decided to go look up the answer. I love the internet for its research purposes.   
I do not remember exactly where I found some of thei nformation I am going to share with you, because it was five years ago that I looked it up. However, I was asked by this sweet girl Stephanie who I met the other day to share what I have learned from both the internet and personal experience.  Weirdly, she had just gotten back from meeting the Mayans.  It will make since later.
So I typed in 11:11 on the computer.  Many websites came up, but the one I really liked was crystalinks.com.  I still remember that site and visit it from time to time.   Not to quote them, since I am writing this from memory, but  11 is a master number,when seen together it is  a DNA reminder of who you are and reminds you of your psychic awareness.  I do not remember if it was this site that said it is your wake up call to be a light worker and  help bring others to connection with the light.  Not the light they speak of when we die, but the light of knowledge.   The knowledge being:  the awareness  of the energies within us and around us and  new way of communicating with our world and our higher power through higher consciousness.
 This new consciousness is to take place in the year 2012 on December 12 at 11:11.  Being a little bit of a skeptic and not overly trusting of all self proclaimed prophets or mystics, I did not know what to think.  I have always believed there is more out there than meets the eye.  I have always been a search of faith.  I have visited many churches, read many books, studied history of religion and beliefs just to come to my own view of faith. But without proof I always wondered if these people were charlatans,  manipulating  others to achieve power or fame.  Something I had seen many times in my research, especially when some of the dogmas of religion go so against the grain of human nature.
Somewhere in my research I came across these definitions of triple digits in the following chart.  I have used them to help me pay attention to the synchronicities that  I have experienced in my life since becoming aware of triple digits.
Three or more same number equals  energy flow of enhancing a level.
11:11- a new beginning, water money ,sex, kundalini,  magnetic
222-Middle of Resurrection, Process of ascension
333- Decision time. Make a choice between 666(material) or 999(spiritual)
444 Resurrection
555 Christ consciousness
666 material
777- integration of lower levels with higher spiritual frequency.
888- Infinity, physical merging with spiritual, moving toward completion.
999- Completion, Spiritual
000- Great void, null zone, Switch to new energy.
12:12- Comic connection. Not a time a destination. You are right where you should be.

I did try to find my source for this chart I have used for years.  The closest I can was to http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=75513  This site speaks more in layman’s terms.  You will probably find it useful.
The way to use this chart is when you see one of these numbers, you take a breath and look around. You stop,  you think and appreciate your first thought.  You look for your synchronicity.   In doing this,many wonderful experiences have come my way. Answers to questions, proof that there is magic in numbers and in the world.  That communication is not always words spoken or written.  That there is energy all around us and it speaks to you if you listen.  It will give you the answers you need.  It will take you on new paths. You just have to pay attention.
I will give you one example before I conclude this testimonial of numbers working to build our lives our universe and if you pay attention how they can work for you.
One night and old friend was having what he thought was a heart attack.  However, he remembered that I had recently gone through a bout of anxiety that I had also thought was a heart attack.  He was at home with his wife and they were both very concerned about his current state.  They called and asked me what to do and what the symptoms were.  I explained the best I could, but just to be sure since my friend tends to smoke a little too much,I suggested he go the hospital to make sure it was not a heart attack.  He asked me to come to the hospital with him and his wife.  I felt a little strange.  I was not sure how his wife would feel about me going.  She had always been a little weird about her husband and I’s friendship. 
  I got in my car and put the key in the ignition, at the same time I asked my self and my God if I was doing the right thing going?  I turned the car on.   It did the strangest thing and lost all power.  No lights no nothing.  So I turned the key back to off.  When I did everything came back on.    When you lose power in a clock,what time shows up on the clock?  Most clocks go back to 12:00 if I am correct.  My clock in the car was 12:12. (A Comic connection, not a time a destination. You are right where you should be).   My God had spoken to me.  I was in the car on the way to my friend.  I had a destination to be right where I should be. I never questioned triple digits again. Now, I stop, I look, I listen, I pay attention to my synchronicities.   I am thankful for the help.   My God, my angels, my deceased loved ones now all can speak to me for I slow down when I see these numbers.    Since then I have become a Reiki Master,using the energies to help other become balanced enough to see these energies themselves.  Originally, I became a Reiki Practitioner by accident.  I substituted for an absent teacher.  Her class was Reiki I.   Or was it an accident?  I think not. And to go a step further , I found myself an ordain Minister of the Universal Life Church.  My faith being there is truth in all faiths.
Lastly, I made some tough changes recently concerning my business.  I love being a business owner,but I want to have more time.  I decide to close my physical location  to try to rent a booth somewhere a couple day a week. This would give me more time to do some of the things being a business owner does not allow you to do like spending time with your family, writing and going back to school.  I did not want to give up what I do.  I love doing hair.  I just wanted more time for all my passions.  The changes were to take place on 1/10/11.
 Strangely, the new tenant of the space wanted to hurry things.  My business changes happened on 1/1/11 and that very day my  car’s odometer  read  111,111.  1/1/11 was a new beginning for me, and oddly enough I got all my wishes.  I am still a business owner, in the same space but, I now rent part time from the new tenant, my friend and former massage therapist. I still get to see my customers, but now I get to see my family, my friends, build a life in my new home town. I get to write and learn.  I got my new beginning with a big synchronicity. Thank you!
Namaste,
Christie LaValley